The Greatest Puzzle

Anonymous asked:
hey my girlfriend asked me to give her oral sex but how do I do it?? c:

gookgod:

this is some yuri manga type shit man

(Source: sizvideos)

Anonymous asked:
What's the most illegal thing you ever did?

At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.

So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.

She refused to fix my grade.

In the end, she shit herself on stage.

I didn’t regret it.

inkfreak12345:

sephyerite:

No mercy.

Well fucking done.

4gifs:

Pet fish likes to be tossed. [video]

(Source: ForGIFs.com)

lol-post:

Are you playing with yourself?

rae-rose:

who-lligan:

So I just had the shit creeped out of me.

I’m not someone who believes in ghosts, but I was sitting in my room, alone and in the dark, and I heard the strings of my violin being softly plucked. 

My violin is hanging on the wall several feet away. 

So I gathered my courage, grabbed my phone, and used the camera light to investigate. 

And found this.

image

A goddamn spider was playing my violin. Not even joking. The little shit.

I think I’d have preferred a ghost….

kaminas-spirit:

House dressed as a house painting a house on a house

its-awesome-turtle-time:

This is one of my favorite posts because that cat’s  name is  meatloaf

and hes just been sitting there with the money between his paws for who knows how long

(Source: tastefullyoffensive)

norvillerogers:

i just found an old flash drive and this is the only thing on it

(Source: bauks)

meladoodle:

when he licks his lips seductively
image

(Source: meladoodle)